How to actually enjoy the holidays without overwhelm
A life-changing mindset shift
Feeling pulled in a million directions during the holidays is natural.
Work stress doesn’t go away just because the tree needs to be decorated and you have a million people to shop for.
The new Lindsay Lohan Christmas movie on Netflix is begging to be watched, but the extra days off work also seem like the perfect time to read your new self-help book that promises to help you find purpose and passion.
But then, Aunt Sally is coming to town, your whole house needs to be cleaned, and your to-do list is already overflowing!
You have this sinking feeling this year is going to get lost in yet another sea of overwhelm and stress, the idyllic image of sipping hot chocolate, cozy with your family, always interrupted by the hard reality of constant anxiety and overwhelm.
You have needs and desires — time to exercise, read, relax for a minute, but somehow you always run out of time for your wants and needs.
And if you’re honest, it’s not just the holiday crazinesss making it hard to find time for your priorities, or to hear your inner voice.
You lost connection to yourself long ago and have no idea how to find your way back. To you. Your passions. Your purpose. Your needs, desires and plan for your life.
What’s a girl to do?
Not to worry, I’ve got you covered.
Today I’m going to share the single most powerful mindset shift you can make around taking time for yourself that will change not only how you approach this most wonderful time of the year, but the other 11 months, too.
Before we get started, if you’re new here, my name is Suzanne. I’m a life purpose coach for high-achieving women who want to reconnect to themselves and feel alive again. If you know you’re meant for more, and deserve more, you’re in the right place.
The most important thing you can do during the holidays to enjoy them without overwhelm is to understand that you are not responsible for everything.
It’s not all up to you.
A lot of the women I work with base their value and worth on making others happy.
They get so used to seeking external validation through identifying others’ needs and wants, and bending themselves into pretzels trying to fulfill those expectations, that they totally lose touch with themselves.
What happens is you train everyone around you to expect you to over-perform, trapping you in a situation where that becomes your norm.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. It’s a cycle you can end.
I used to be really bad about this.
When it came to work, I was always the last one to leave, always the one putting in 110% effort to get a pat on the head from my boss, always working to write extra stories as a journalist even when my colleagues left early to sneak in a hike before dark.
And when I met someone I loved, I completely lost myself.
I was young and wild and quit my job to move half-way across the country for someone I’d known for less than a year! We’ve been married for 13 years now, and my husband is an amazing man who loves and supports me unconditionally, but I still haven’t quite convinced him to move, so I’m STILL living someplace I don’t like, which is very frustrating!
(We did move at one point a few years ago, but it didn’t quite work out. One day!)
The positive side to this is that I had the freedom to quit my job and build a career around my purpose, so everything works out the way it’s meant to, but my point is that silencing our desires has long-term ramifications.
That tension of disconnection builds and builds, first causing stress and anxiety, then sadness or depression, and ultimately (potentially) serious health problems, especially as you get older.
Free yourself to set expectations from within by realizing that if you died, people would figure it out on their own.
That might sound dramatic, but this was a big realization for me.
This isn’t about being selfish, but understanding that you best serve others by being the happiest, healthiest, most fulfilled version of yourself.
If you were gone, the world would go on without you.
You may feel like saying no, cooking one less side or empowering someone to do something themselves — instead of you doing it for them — is selfish, but it’s actually selfish not to.
Because when you overload yourself, you get anxious. You snap. You’re not a joy to be around. (It’s okay. We’re all like this.)
When you get irritable, take a minute to give yourself kindness and notice how overwhelmed you are.
The most kind, loving thing you can do for others is to do what you feel inspired to do, not what you feel required to do.
Set your expectations from within rather than meeting everyone’s demands without question. Source your sense of being loved, valuable and necessary from God.
Also know just how kind, giving and generous you are, and trust that when you are fully resourced, you LOVE to give to others.
If you spend all your time doing what you ‘should’ do, and have lost touch with what makes you feel alive….
If you’re killing it in a career that makes your parents proud, but feels like a nightmare…
If you have a beautiful home and loving husband, yet something’s missing…
And you’re ready to create a fulfilling, fully self-expressed life where you follow your passions while also taking care of your personal and financial responsibilities —
Book a call to talk about working together 1:1.
Working with me isn’t for everyone. It’s for women who are done settling for average. I don’t just help you figure out what you want — I help you become the version of you who gets it.
You’ll walk away so clear, so confident, so vibrant and glow-y, everyone will ask for your secret.
The truth is, bold changes require bold investments.
I didn’t create a career based on my purpose all by myself. I’ve invested tens of thousands of dollars into coaches and courses to help me learn not just skills, but the mindset and identity of becoming the most fully expressed version of myself.
And I continue to invest.
The containers that I’m in, and that I create for people, change lives. I shifted from offering online courses to coaching because I’ve seen first-hand how transformative personalized attention is.
When you want to break patterns and express entirely new parts of yourself, self-help books, podcasts or even self-guided courses won’t cut it. You simply don’t know your blind spots. (And therapy focuses too much on the past.)
You’ve been stuck for years in soul-destroying patterns that I can help you break in one conversation by helping you see things differently.
Like my client Kelley told me, “that was the most powerful conversation I’ve ever had.” She quit her job and is now living her passion and purpose with an online business.
Work with me when you’re ready to feel alive again. (And you’re ready to do the work.)