What to do when you feel blocked
Your soul expression is valuable because you are valuable.
The things we feel called to do are not frivolous.
Creativity is not frivolous.
Self-expression is not frivolous.
On the contrary, the more we express the streams of ideas flowing through us and organize our lives around the dictates of the soul, the more in harmony we are with ourselves, and with life itself.
And the more we tell ourselves no, I don't have time, that's dumb, it won't go anywhere, what will so and so think, the more we block the energy flowing through us, which blocks our connection to ourselves, the universe, silences our intuition, and ultimately leaves us feeling stuck, frustrated, unfulfilled and empty.
Even suffering mentally or physically.
As James Hillman writes in The Soul's Code:
"We each embody our own idea, and this form, this idea, this image does not tolerate too much straying."
This conversation takes on special importance for those of us who aim to monetize our life purpose.
That is, be who you really are, and get paid for it. Not in the sense of like, the Kardashians, who just show up, but from the sense of, I'm learning what I'm meant to learn, developing my natural inclinations, helping people, and making money along the way.
Not everyone has this desire. My husband, for example, couldn't care less about his soul's purpose.
But people like us who do have this desire are meant to experience it.
An inner debate that's long blocked my progress toward this goal is the conflict of art vs business.
I've explored both sides of the spectrum —
created selfish, indulgent art
and
prioritized strategy over soul.
Honestly, neither felt fulfilling.
The most fulfilling (and easily profitable) time I've ever had in my business was at the very start.
In 2014, I did a 40-day yoga practice that completely changed my life.
A few months later, I started my blog, and soon after that, I created my first course, The Big Shift, which took people through a similar process, with the addition of daily readings and journaling prompts.
The response to the course was insane. Around 50 people joined the first cohort, which is absolutely astounding for a first course launch. 'Till this day, people still reach out and tell me how much they loved the course. (If one of you is reading this, you forever hold a special place in my heart! I'm so grateful to everyone who participated in my courses. They were some of the most fun and rewarding experiences ever.)
The interesting thing about starting something new is that it can come easy at first. The saying beginners' luck exists for a reason.
When starting from nothing, each tiny win feels monumental.
Then you hit the messy middle. Things grow complicated.
My second launch was not as great. Looking back, it was simply because I was selling to the same people I'd just sold to, and had not grown my audience substantially between launches.
But I didn't have this knowledge and assumed the worst. I suck. Nobody wants my course. I'm destined to fail. The usual.
When we feel rejected, we can turn inward to our souls to learn the lessons, absorb the wisdom and grow in character, or we can turn outward to the world for answers, which easily leads us astray.
(There's nothing wrong with seeking outside support. The difference, as always, is intention.)
Off began a long journey of trying to build on my early success, and for some reason, although relying on God, my creativity and intuition had created my first success, I immediately ignored all that and cannonballed into the often-scammy world of business coaches selling courses about how to make a living selling courses.
Unfortunately, the more I focused on the business side of things, the more my true gifts faded.
Distanced from them, I began to doubt them, which led me to double down on the practical aspect of monetizing my purpose.
I listened to truly bad (for me) advice, choosing a business model involving constantly creating new courses and launching, which fried my already delicate nervous system so badly I'm still recovering, years later.
The whole time, this inner conflict — art vs. business, art vs. business — raged, and it was honestly difficult to create because I lacked a mental framework to guide my focus.
I felt torn between creating for the sake of soul expression (was it useful or self-indulgent?) or to mold that expression into something more easily exchanged for money (what if I don't develop my true self and create something I hate?).
Recently my intuition guided me to an outstanding book sitting half-read on my bookshelf:
Care of the Soul.
In it, Thomas Moore writes:
When our work doesn't reflect our true selves, "we become more concerned...with how our work reflects on our reputations. We seek…the glow of achievement, and so we become distracted from the soul of the work for its sake. We are tempted to find satisfaction in secondary rewards, such as money, prestige and the trappings of success.
Money can become the focus of a job’s narcissism. In other words, pleasure in money can take the place of pleasure in work. Still, we all require money, and money can be an integral part of work without loss of soul. The crucial point is our attitude.”
Reading that, I realized there was no debate between art and business.
It's art AND business.
The art must always exist.
You must always give space for your soul’s expression even if it doesn’t make you money or you think you don’t have time or it feels frivolous.
It’s okay if it doesn’t make money, it must still exist. It’s a stream coming through you and if not expressed, it leads to a clog, possibly an explosion. A disconnection from life, from your soul, from yourself.
Many creative women tend to ignore their souls' urge for self-expression in favor of prioritizing others' demands, expectations, or what's reasonable or practical.
They may feel shame, feelings of inferiority, doubt or insecurity, sometimes resulting in a total disconnection from knowing their gifts at all. Emptiness, stagnation, sadness and confusion result.
In these times, you must do what your soul asks of you, even if it seems totally useless.
When I was trying to find myself again before starting my blog, I took tennis lessons, jewelry-making classes, yoga teacher training. Nothing came of any of it, but it got me back into the flow and showed my soul I was serious about following its instructions, even if I didn't know where they would go.
Purpose is followed, not found.
We live in an outcome-driven world where we're encouraged to identify what we want and reverse engineer it.
In some cases, there's nothing wrong with this. You want a hot body? You better work, bi*ch. (Yas Britney.)
But this approach lacks soul, and if we don't create space for the soul, we'll be forced to.
The soul prioritizes process over result, depth over speed, beauty over practicality.
People too often dismiss their longings for creative self-expression as frivolous but that's because we've been brainwashed by the modern world that soulful things are frivolous.
Look at modern architecture — big, boring, ugly boxes. Society doesn't spend the time or money anymore on beauty, instead opting for fast fashion, fast food, fast entertainment. (The beauty people do focus on is often a caricature of itself, more obsessed with perfection than actual beauty.)
The modern world is soulless and plastic, walking in lockstep to fill anti-anxiety medication.
The modern world is completely psychotic and doesn't hold the answers for much of anything — all while screaming maniacally that it knows everything.
Living the healthiest, happiest version our lives requires reclaiming our connections to our souls, and that requires following our curiosities and expressing ourselves as we feel called, among other things of course like caring for our physical spaces and bodies and loved ones.
What if nobody sees or cares or wants what you have to create? What's the point?
This is a difficult question, a painful one that everyone grapples with.
Because if nobody wants your soul expression, it feels like nobody wants you.
It can feel like your life is meaningless if the very thing you were meant to create doesn't ripple the universe. This fear makes people quit, or stops them from even starting.
Somehow even criticism is better than being ignored. If people criticize, at least they acknowledge the art's existence.
We're not all meant to be famous, or impact the world in massive ways. The amazing thing about now is that it's never been easier to impact the world in small, but deep ways through the internet.
But ultimately, we don't have control over the outcome.
Trying to control the outcome causes fear, anxiety, overwork. It comes from needing people to value your work before you can value yourself.
Trying to control outcomes negates the mystery from which the original impulse came.
We tend to downplay the role fate plays in creating success or failure, and take a myopic view blind to the reality that sometimes's today's failure creates tomorrow's success.
Failure and rejection are opportunities to reconnect to our innate value while also reaffirming our connection to the larger forces in life carefully guiding our full expression.
Trusting your art is trusting life, trusting it will take you where you need to go. Loving what you create comes from loving yourself.
Ultimately, the value of creative work isn't found in the amount of attention or dollars it attracts.
The value of creative work comes from the value of the soul creating it.
Soul expression is valuable in the way we’re valuable, in the way the cosmos is valuable. The kind of value that's absurd to put a number on.
How much would you pay for the universe? It's ridiculous to think about. It's not something one could own, not from a matter of dollars, but from the perspective that it doesn't belong to us. Humans are the same way.
Slices of infinity sandwiched in skin.
Soul expression is intimacy with infinity.
It's about allowing life to flow through you, which ultimately connects you to your true self and orients you to your correct place in the universe, even if that orientation doesn't directly result from the soul expression.
For example, I could write this blog and not get a single response, however I know in my heart that I'm on the right path because the books I read to elicit these ideas and the time I spent writing them make me feel alive, and when I feel alive and connected to my soul, every other decision I make aligns with my core, and the more decisions I make that align with my core, the more I will create the life I am uniquely designed to live, even if I never earn another dollar online.
(This is what my guided journal Listen to Your Heart is about: aligning with your true self, and connecting to your larger purpose through expanding one next right step at a time.)
Ironically, making a living with our innate gifts often requires us to release the need for those gifts to make money.
Even if our soul expression makes no money, it must still exist.
It's not art OR business, it's art AND business.
Creative expression is a stream coming through you and if not expressed, it leads to a clog, possibly an explosion. A disconnection from life, from your soul, from yourself.
Your soul expression can make money, but that’s honestly one of the most dangerous times for art. That's when you risk asking what your art needs to be in order to profit from it.
That question is what makes you lose connection to your true art, and consequently, your true self. It thwarts your potential and robs you of the joy of creating, of living the life you're meant to.
There's nothing wrong with having a day job, if necessary, or allowing someone to provide for you, if they're willing. Elizabeth Gilbert said she never demanded anything of her art, and didn't quit her day job until the success of Eat, Pray, Love.
Your creative self-expression isn't frivolous. It's the most meaningful thing there is. Your soul expression is valuable because you are valuable, and that expression will take you where you're meant to be.
As always, here are a few journal prompts to ponder:
What ideas have you had that you ignore or delay?
What are the stories you tell yourself about why they don’t matter or why you can't pursue those ideas?
Considering each story, what is the higher truth?
If you were to embark upon an idea, what would your first step be?
What are the obstacles between you and that first step?
How can you overcome them or transform them into an opportunity?
If you're struggling with believing in the value of your gifts, consider exploring the Shadow Work Workshop. The part about unconscious commitments will help you identify and release stories blocking you from embracing your unique soul's gifts.
If you're not sure what's next in your life, consider the Listen to Your Heart guided journal. This journal is about finding your purpose through aligning your life to who you really are and expanding from there.
I'd love to hear from you! Comment and share anything that came up from the journaling prompts, or any other insights!
All the love,
Suzanne
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I think I was one of those first cohort Big Shifters! ✨ Was that really 2014?? It felt special to be called out while reading this post today, because at the time, it felt like a big purchase for me, and even more so because I had to convert the cost into Canadian dollars, but it was magical, and worth every penny. Your guided meditation is one of the deepest most memorable experiences I’ve had in my practice to this day. I’ve never forgotten how much I enjoyed reading your emails and sharing your journey back then. It’s nice to say thank you personally 💖
This was exactly what I needed to read and be reminded of today, Suzanne. I love this: "Your soul expression is valuable because you are valuable, and that expression will take you where you're meant to be." I absolutely believe this, AND I still needed the reminder. ✨ Thank you! And welcome to Substack.