How to figure out what you actually want
Get clear on your life purpose (even if you’ve been stuck for years)
The problem isn’t that you don’t know what you want.
It’s that you forgot who you are.
You forgot how smart, soulful, talented, and wildly capable you’ve always been.
You shrank yourself to fit inside boxes that were never meant for you…
Hoping you’d finally feel safe, seen, lovable and successful.
But instead, you lost touch with your magic. Now, it’s time to remember.
And never forget.
You were born to experience total freedom — in how you spend your time, do your work and spend your money.
You were born to wake up every day feeling fulfilled, so excited to bless the world with your magic.
You deserve to look in the mirror and feel so proud of who you are, who you became, and all you’ve overcome on the way to realizing your dream.
If you’re an ambitious, creative woman who succeeds at everything except starting the business she wants —
this post will guide you through the exact inner and outer shifts to stop holding back and finally start the soulful business you were born to build.
You can’t hear your intuition because you’ve told her no so many times.
No, you can’t follow your dreams.
No, you can’t feel like that.
You’re too sensitive.
Your ideas are crazy. They don’t make sense.
These voices first came outside of you, from parents, teachers, society —
Then they became your inner voice.
But those voices are NOT the real you.
I’m going to help you quiet the noise so you can hear your intuition again — and start building the life and business you’re meant to.
How I went from feeling like a passenger in life to regaining control.
Shortly after cancer, my hair was a short, weird, curly mess. (They call it chemo curl.)
I worked a marketing job in a literal windowless office, stuck in a grey cubicle next to a girl who’d been the second choice for the role. She knew they hired her too.
She was a slow slacker who made many mistakes. I was fresh out of the newsroom, used to deadlines and getting work done, fast.
I got promotions and raises…
She didn’t.
Yet she had more friends in the office.
The women whispered and gossiped, huddled in corners.
I didn’t fit in.
And I didn’t want to.
That job wasn’t my purpose.
I had to track my time in 15-minute increments — imprisoned by the clock.
All I wanted to do was bet on myself, do my own thing.
The day everything changed
One day, leaving the office late, I caught my eyes in the rearview mirror.
They looked dead.
I didn’t fight for my life to live like this.
So I quit.
Started to freelance write.
Made great money my first year.
But truthfully — I still wasn’t happy.
The pain lingered…
The pain of surviving cancer.
The pain of living someplace I didn’t like.
The pain of being the version of me who had settled into that marketing job in the first place.
Even though I’d quit — I was still that person.
The version of me who gave up on her dreams.
The one who doubted she’d ever succeed doing what truly mattered.
The version who felt like an outsider, and judged herself for it, instead of being proud of who I was.
Today, I’m so beyond grateful I took a chance on myself.
I’ve achieved my wildest dreams of building a community online, of people who love to read my writing, of fabulous, smart creative women who trust me to guide them to realize their potential.
I’ve run my business while solo traveling to Bali and yoga-retreating in Tuscany, sneaking in emails between hikes and olive oil tastings.
I’ve helped hundreds of women heal their hearts, dozens of women now find their purpose, and proven to myself that yes - I can do anything I put my mind to.
Creative women are not meant to work 9 to 5s.
We’re meant to work part time while leveraging our gifts on the Internet and having plenty of free time to workout, cook nourishing meals and relax with our families.
You have such beautiful, incredible gifts that you can easily monetize.
The only thing holding you back is the belief you’re not ready.
How to actually figure out what you want
Caution: You will be tempted to ignore this advice and try another side hustle that fizzles, but that will keep you stuck in the exact place you’re in right now.
1. Shift from over-thinking your next move to feeling the feelings underneath.
The women I work with are so insanely smart, and they’re used to figuring everything out on their own.
The truth is, when you’re overwhelmed, worried and can’t relax, no amount of ‘figuring it out,’ or list-making will help.
Returning to your body will. Because in your body are feelings of fear, past pain, messages embedded in your nervous system that say —
If I don’t figure it out, I’ll never be happy.
That’s a scary thought, and it’s also not true.
There’s nothing to figure out. You already know.
But that fear keeps you stuck searching for quick-fixes or scrolling social media, comparing yourself to others…
And those behaviors make it impossible for you to figure things out.
Instead, drop from your mind into your body to release the underlying emotions. That clears space to receive powerful, precise guidance from your intuition about what you really want.
2. Know you’re good enough right now.
When you focus on how you’re not where you want to be, how confused you feel, or the past mistakes you made —
You reinforce the fear you’re not enough.
That there’s something wrong with you, and that’s why you can’t figure out the business you want to start or grow it in the way you’re meant to.
If you spend all your time judging and criticizing yourself, feeling upset for past decisions, there’s no room to recognize or value your gifts.
There’s no room for courage and faith to try something new.
How would you live if you fully accepted and loved yourself?
3. Stop sacrificing yourself to keep the peace in your relationships.
The entire reason we get into these situations where we don’t know who we are or what we want is because we ditched our dreams, goals and desires to make sure other people were happy.
We’re FINE suffering so others don’t have to….
Until we wake up one day not knowing who the hell we are, what we want, or how we got there.
You landed the impressive job that pays amazing but bores you to tears or stresses you out so much you can’t even enjoy your weekend — because that’s the path you thought you should walk.
This is your LIFE! Are you really going to spend it working a job you hate?
Because you’re too scared to do something meaningful?
Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish.
The key is to nourish ourselves FIRST. And know that when you are nourished, happy, radiant and fulfilled, your family gets the BEST version of you.
You weren’t born to settle for a life that doesn’t feel like yours.
You deserve a life and career that reflects who you really are — your hopes and dreams, not the version of you who did what other people wanted.
4. Create space to receive your vision.
The main reason smart, hard-working women can’t figure out what they want is they fill their heads with way too much noise.
Podcasts. Courses. Scrolling. Outside opinions.
Purpose comes from God, and the guidance to live it comes from God.
That guidance comes through space, which I love creating for clients on our calls.
The other day on the Value Your Gifts training in Bloom, I mentioned how my backyard chaise lounge is a very spiritual place for me.
I rest, I think, I receive messages from God.
Purpose doesn’t come from your brain. It comes from your heart.
That’s why it’s important to release any pain you feel, know you’re good enough and create space to listen, to receive the vision for your life. For what you’re meant to do and who you’re meant to become.
You feel disconnected because you ARE disconnected.
Your vision and guidance comes from your connection with yourself, and with God. So create the space to connect.
5. Pursue what you actually want.
It’s very interesting that MANY of the women I work with first purchased business courses, trainings, random certifications — things that promised easy or fast paths to cash.
I totally understand WHY they did this, and sometimes it IS part of the path. (I tried real estate before finding my purpose.)
But we’re drawn to quick-fix promises when we feel stuck, unclear or desperate for change.
So many smart, talented women blame themselves for past mistakes, or don’t fully believe in themselves, and because of that, seek out what they consider “the easy, sure thing.”
The truth is, there is no sure thing, safe bet or guaranteed outcome - not in business and not in life.
Instead, back yourself. Believe in your desires, vision and gifts.
Know that you’re going to have to put the work in, and faithfully pursue your dream to bring it to life.
But you do it because you can’t not.
Because it’s what you were born to do.
And anything else feels like an empty, half-lived life.
Following your dreams is a form of self-respect.
You ARE meant for big things!
You DO deserve to be happy, and you ARE capable of achieving anything you put your mind to!
But until you do this real work, you’ll continue chasing quick fixes that only keep you stuck and searching.
The radiant, purpose-led woman you’re meant to be is already inside of you.
She’s just waiting for you to commit to her.
All the love,
Suzanne
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The only thing holding you back is the belief you’re not ready.
So resonant, thanks for sharing!
Man this hits home. I feel like it describes me exactly and I’m just starting to feel the fog lift and get me on my path again