This post really hit home with me Suzanne! You eloquently expressed everything I’ve been feeling. It means so much to read things like this and know I am not alone. Connection is so important to me but I can’t connect with anyone until I connect with my authentic self so I need to do the work! Thank you.
I'm so glad the post hit home, Jennifer. Your comments made my day! You are definitely not alone :) Thank you again for upgrading to the Journaling Club. Would love to hear about your experiences with the prompts if you feel called to share in the chat!
What a wonderful compliment! Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to share your thoughts. I’m so glad the blog connected with you in such a deep way. Sending you lots of love! ♥️
There are several profound points in this piece that resonate deeply for me, like this one: "We can’t feel rejected if we don’t first reject ourselves. Everything begins within." Thank you, Suzanne.
Wow, Suzanne, you just pretty much summed up my life. This is such a great piece. Coincidentally, I have been trying to work on why I have not shown up for myself in so many critical ways, as a common thread in my life.
I'm thrilled it resonated with you, Victoria! Also, thank you so much for upgrading to the Club. I'm so excited to support your journey! Would love, if you feel called, for you to share a bit about where you are on your journey in the chat. Another beautiful woman has also joined the chat, and it'd be so wonderful if we could create a little community and support each other. I'm so happy to help in any way I can, journal prompts, etc. So glad you're here on Substack!
Yes! It’s on the app or the desktop browser. There is also a link in email taking you directly to it. It’s accessible only for Journaling Club members, so share freely knowing it’s a walled space. Let me know if you need more help!
I can so relate to that feeling of trying to fit in with everyone else, when actually the heart is wanting something completely different. I'm glad I finally had it in me to follow my dreams.
Oooph this "in a fragile state, you’ll do anything to create that feeling of being accepted, even if it means abandoning yourself." Totally remember feeling like that. It's taken me a long time to realise the power of being ok with uncomfortable feelings; we think we can feel better by chasing something external, but actually, it's so much more empowering if we can learn to create the feeling we desire within ourselves. And the first step there is often being ok with feeling a bit crap. Thanks for sharing this, I've saved it to come back to on those days I feel a bit lost and need a reminder 🙏
Definitely more empowering to create that feeling within! Such a hard lesson to learn but so amazing when we do. (Although it’s a lesson I have to keep reminding myself.) thanks so much for reading and sharing your reflections, Lucy. I’m so glad the blog resonated with you! ♥️
Uf, this resonates! I am in the process of learning to sit with challenging emotions, instead abandoning myself in all sorts of ways to get that little hit of comforting "love". Ty for sharing this!
This was a great post with practical tips for a very hard human deconditioning journey. Hating myself was so terribly ingrained due to my childhood trauma history. I am so grateful I reached the point of understanding that it all starts with self-love. How liberating! Thanks for sharing.
Great question on turning point! You got me pondering. Thanks for that.
I am still working the answer out and never will likely but the gift of meditation is the antidote regardless.
I think the awakening was a compilation of stacked traumas while working on covid front lines at a county hospital. I held space for so many people with so much fear for so long. At deathbeds. So much sickness. So much regret. It does things to witness suffering with hearts wide open.
The main event though was understanding, restoration, and maintenance of the definition of unconditional love. I realized that I only showed conditional love towards my mentally ill mother and had to unpack how I was taught this way of being. I wondered why I cared for other mother’s with more compassion than my own. Everything changed after that realization.
Wow, that is really profound. Working on the front lines of Covid must have been a difficult experience, but I can definitely see how facing so much death and suffering would change the way you see life. Also interesting re: your mom. That is a very, strong, open-hearted way to view things, especially since I’m guessing that by having a mentally ill mom there were many things you didn’t receive growing up, that you had to cultivate on your own. It’s amazing that you could stand on your own individuation strongly enough to have compassion for her as a person outside of your mother / daughter relationship. Thank you so much for sharing these beautiful thoughts!
Thank you for your kindnesses! It is true, I was very maladapted in utero and had a lot of total body-mind rewiring work in the past 4 yrs.
It was alloparenting that saved me (by a childless woman actually) and of course the love of other family and friends (even if dysfunctional).
It is amazing that sometimes just one loving human can buoy a distressed child. One teacher. One stepmother. One neighbor. Experiencing it has ripple effects. Thanks for your heartfelt comments.
Thank you for this. A few years ago, I lost a friend over a misconstrued comment regarding politics and I'm still not over it. It wasn't meant to be interpreted in such a way, and it hurt that she so deeply misunderstood me, and what's more, couldn't recognize the painful situation I was going through.
As always, I love your action steps that you provide near the second half of your pieces. 🥰
Oh no, Niki. I'm so sorry you experienced that. How hurtful that a friend prioritized political opinions over your personal experience, especially a painful one. Polarization is a horrible, horrible thing for society and I hope that people start coming back to the middle, or at least regain the capacity to hold space for differences of opinion. Unfortunately, I've lost quite a few people to political differences, and I didn't have that many to lose in the first place. haha. There is so much grey area, and I think that's where our shared humanity is. Most people are good people, and polarization makes us forget that!
So beautifully written, thank you🙏 I’ve always known that emotions create thought not the other way around. It’s great to read your validating words - I felt understood🌟
Love that! I’m so glad it resonated and that you felt understood. That was definitely my hope in writing, so hearing this makes me so happy. ♥️ Yes, I don’t know why people promote thoughts leading to feelings so much when the opposite is, to me, a much clearer pathway.
I am just seeing this and as a neurodivergent person, as well as someone that struggled with imposter syndrome, I can totally relate. Lately, everything has been on me, which I’ll write more about. Especially today when I broke down then get myself together. There are some days that I feel this but I’ve developed a meditative mind that allows me to breathe and get recentered faster than I used to. On the flip side, I am human and sometimes I have to assess situations and walk in nature to gain complete clarity. Thank God for fresh air. Thank you for sharing this 💕
this one really hits home for me. i'm dealing with latent shame from some past experiences where i was rejected for being my authentic self. i fit in when i played the game but when i got tired of playing, i was benched.
I've known since 3rd grade I wanted to be a writer. Like you, I was the kid who read books under a tree instead of playing group games on the playground during recess. the other kids called me weird. I watched, observed, and paid attention to them. My teacher noticed my desire to write and invited me to write a story to share with the class. I created characters based on all the kids in class and all the great things I saw in each of them. I thought my story was brilliant. When I read it, the kids got bored. One kid even interrupted me and asked the teacher "how much longer do we have to listen to this?"
that was over 40 years ago. I'm still writing. I'm still weird. People still misunderstand me. I still get a little sore when people make not-nice comments about my writing. But now, I'm not lonely like I was then. Years of learning how to love myself has attracted a really supportive community of like-minded writers around me.
This post really hit home with me Suzanne! You eloquently expressed everything I’ve been feeling. It means so much to read things like this and know I am not alone. Connection is so important to me but I can’t connect with anyone until I connect with my authentic self so I need to do the work! Thank you.
I'm so glad the post hit home, Jennifer. Your comments made my day! You are definitely not alone :) Thank you again for upgrading to the Journaling Club. Would love to hear about your experiences with the prompts if you feel called to share in the chat!
This is the most emotionally charged post I’ve read until now…it really touched me deeply…thanks for expressing what we can’t but feel…🩶
What a wonderful compliment! Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to share your thoughts. I’m so glad the blog connected with you in such a deep way. Sending you lots of love! ♥️
There are several profound points in this piece that resonate deeply for me, like this one: "We can’t feel rejected if we don’t first reject ourselves. Everything begins within." Thank you, Suzanne.
Thank you for reading, Sandra and taking the time to share your reflections. I’m so glad you found points that resonated with you! ♥️
Yes, this was so powerful. It all starts within.
Wow, Suzanne, you just pretty much summed up my life. This is such a great piece. Coincidentally, I have been trying to work on why I have not shown up for myself in so many critical ways, as a common thread in my life.
I'm thrilled it resonated with you, Victoria! Also, thank you so much for upgrading to the Club. I'm so excited to support your journey! Would love, if you feel called, for you to share a bit about where you are on your journey in the chat. Another beautiful woman has also joined the chat, and it'd be so wonderful if we could create a little community and support each other. I'm so happy to help in any way I can, journal prompts, etc. So glad you're here on Substack!
Hi, Suzanne, sure, I’d love to - I’m still “figuring out” Substack, so sorry for the silly question: would I leave this in the area called “Chat”?
Yes! It’s on the app or the desktop browser. There is also a link in email taking you directly to it. It’s accessible only for Journaling Club members, so share freely knowing it’s a walled space. Let me know if you need more help!
I can so relate to that feeling of trying to fit in with everyone else, when actually the heart is wanting something completely different. I'm glad I finally had it in me to follow my dreams.
That’s awesome Sophie! I’m so glad you followed your dreams. Your tiny house adventures sound so wonderful! ♥️
Oooph this "in a fragile state, you’ll do anything to create that feeling of being accepted, even if it means abandoning yourself." Totally remember feeling like that. It's taken me a long time to realise the power of being ok with uncomfortable feelings; we think we can feel better by chasing something external, but actually, it's so much more empowering if we can learn to create the feeling we desire within ourselves. And the first step there is often being ok with feeling a bit crap. Thanks for sharing this, I've saved it to come back to on those days I feel a bit lost and need a reminder 🙏
Definitely more empowering to create that feeling within! Such a hard lesson to learn but so amazing when we do. (Although it’s a lesson I have to keep reminding myself.) thanks so much for reading and sharing your reflections, Lucy. I’m so glad the blog resonated with you! ♥️
Uf, this resonates! I am in the process of learning to sit with challenging emotions, instead abandoning myself in all sorts of ways to get that little hit of comforting "love". Ty for sharing this!
This was a great post with practical tips for a very hard human deconditioning journey. Hating myself was so terribly ingrained due to my childhood trauma history. I am so grateful I reached the point of understanding that it all starts with self-love. How liberating! Thanks for sharing.
Liberating indeed! Love hearing about your journey to self-love. Very inspiring! What do you think was a turning point for you?
Great question on turning point! You got me pondering. Thanks for that.
I am still working the answer out and never will likely but the gift of meditation is the antidote regardless.
I think the awakening was a compilation of stacked traumas while working on covid front lines at a county hospital. I held space for so many people with so much fear for so long. At deathbeds. So much sickness. So much regret. It does things to witness suffering with hearts wide open.
The main event though was understanding, restoration, and maintenance of the definition of unconditional love. I realized that I only showed conditional love towards my mentally ill mother and had to unpack how I was taught this way of being. I wondered why I cared for other mother’s with more compassion than my own. Everything changed after that realization.
Wow, that is really profound. Working on the front lines of Covid must have been a difficult experience, but I can definitely see how facing so much death and suffering would change the way you see life. Also interesting re: your mom. That is a very, strong, open-hearted way to view things, especially since I’m guessing that by having a mentally ill mom there were many things you didn’t receive growing up, that you had to cultivate on your own. It’s amazing that you could stand on your own individuation strongly enough to have compassion for her as a person outside of your mother / daughter relationship. Thank you so much for sharing these beautiful thoughts!
Thank you for your kindnesses! It is true, I was very maladapted in utero and had a lot of total body-mind rewiring work in the past 4 yrs.
It was alloparenting that saved me (by a childless woman actually) and of course the love of other family and friends (even if dysfunctional).
It is amazing that sometimes just one loving human can buoy a distressed child. One teacher. One stepmother. One neighbor. Experiencing it has ripple effects. Thanks for your heartfelt comments.
Thank you for this. A few years ago, I lost a friend over a misconstrued comment regarding politics and I'm still not over it. It wasn't meant to be interpreted in such a way, and it hurt that she so deeply misunderstood me, and what's more, couldn't recognize the painful situation I was going through.
As always, I love your action steps that you provide near the second half of your pieces. 🥰
Oh no, Niki. I'm so sorry you experienced that. How hurtful that a friend prioritized political opinions over your personal experience, especially a painful one. Polarization is a horrible, horrible thing for society and I hope that people start coming back to the middle, or at least regain the capacity to hold space for differences of opinion. Unfortunately, I've lost quite a few people to political differences, and I didn't have that many to lose in the first place. haha. There is so much grey area, and I think that's where our shared humanity is. Most people are good people, and polarization makes us forget that!
Yes! I like that at the end: most people are good people and polarization makes us forget that..
So beautifully written, thank you🙏 I’ve always known that emotions create thought not the other way around. It’s great to read your validating words - I felt understood🌟
Love that! I’m so glad it resonated and that you felt understood. That was definitely my hope in writing, so hearing this makes me so happy. ♥️ Yes, I don’t know why people promote thoughts leading to feelings so much when the opposite is, to me, a much clearer pathway.
I am just seeing this and as a neurodivergent person, as well as someone that struggled with imposter syndrome, I can totally relate. Lately, everything has been on me, which I’ll write more about. Especially today when I broke down then get myself together. There are some days that I feel this but I’ve developed a meditative mind that allows me to breathe and get recentered faster than I used to. On the flip side, I am human and sometimes I have to assess situations and walk in nature to gain complete clarity. Thank God for fresh air. Thank you for sharing this 💕
this one really hits home for me. i'm dealing with latent shame from some past experiences where i was rejected for being my authentic self. i fit in when i played the game but when i got tired of playing, i was benched.
I've known since 3rd grade I wanted to be a writer. Like you, I was the kid who read books under a tree instead of playing group games on the playground during recess. the other kids called me weird. I watched, observed, and paid attention to them. My teacher noticed my desire to write and invited me to write a story to share with the class. I created characters based on all the kids in class and all the great things I saw in each of them. I thought my story was brilliant. When I read it, the kids got bored. One kid even interrupted me and asked the teacher "how much longer do we have to listen to this?"
that was over 40 years ago. I'm still writing. I'm still weird. People still misunderstand me. I still get a little sore when people make not-nice comments about my writing. But now, I'm not lonely like I was then. Years of learning how to love myself has attracted a really supportive community of like-minded writers around me.
Thank you for sharing this, Suzanne. It’s a powerful affirmation that we don’t need to be understood by everyone—just by ourselves.