This is why finding purpose is so hard now

The truth about feeling unfulfilled even if you're successful

Photo by Katie Mukhina on Unsplash

Not everyone has a deep longing to translate their soul’s true gifts into a career and make money from their life purpose.

Some people are truly content to clock in and clock out, have a job they’re emotionally unattached to, and go about their lives. For the purpose-driven, that will never lead to a fulfilling life.

There’s nothing wrong with a clock-out life. Sometimes I actually envy that level of detachment.

But for people like us, for whom the call of a higher purpose never fades, aligning our career with our purpose is essential to our happiness.

It’s part of your soul’s calling.

Hiding from this desire doesn’t make it disappear, but only creates an existential, gnawing knowing of something more, some alternate reality you should be living. It amplifies the haunting feeling that an important part of you has been domesticated, filed down in hopes of fitting in and appearing normal.

Freedom comes from realizing that being normal isn’t a worthwhile goal.

In fact today, “normal” means unhealthy in mind, body and spirit, listening to “experts” more than your own inner knowing, numbed out on dopamine, and living vicariously through watching other people’s lives play out on screens all while wondering why you’re bored and unfulfilled, even if you’re what society deems successful.

The cure for boredom and that feeling something is missing is to say yes to the adventure of your lifetime — pursuing your purpose.

I won’t lie and say it’s easy, but it is meaningful.

To not be limited by your past pains or what you’ve been through, but to live fully self-expressed, tapped into your passion, propelled forward by the vision of destiny inside your soul.

To no longer wear a costume or mask or pretend you’re someone you’re not just to make a living, but instead make money because of your unique gifts, in the unique way you’re meant to.

This is your destiny. You have the freedom to live this life, and by virtue of making different choices, you can bring it into reality.

Why then, is it so hard?

Finding your purpose and making it your career can feel like groping around in the dark for a light switch. You know it’s there, but where?

Here’s why purpose feels so hard to find:

1. You feel attached to where you should be in life by now.

The more time that passes while feeling unclear about your life purpose, the more you attach to an alternate reality where you’ve found fulfilling work and created massive success financially and spiritually.

Held lightly, this vision inspires you to pursue that journey. The problem develops when you attach to that vision and judge yourself for not living it.

You start to think there’s something wrong with you, doubt that you have a purpose, or blame yourself for making ‘wrong’ life decisions that led to where you are.

This resistance keeps you stuck. At war with yourself, you become blind to the opportunities all around you, the openings in the wall that when walked through, will create the change you’re looking for.

Starting over can also feel reckless, especially if you were raised to value practicality at the expense of your dreams.

The solution is to first accept where you are and realize you have everything you need to create the life you want.

Once you acknowledge the desires in your heart as real, and decide to value your happiness over appearances, everything changes.

With my support in the Journaling Club through this week’s prompts. you’ll free yourself to find new opportunities and the courage to walk through them.

2. You have shame around your greatest gifts.

I call these unconscious commitments, and I go deep into this in my Shadow work Workshop.

Unconscious commitments are beliefs you’ve taken on throughout your life that say you need to do or not do specific things in order to be worthy of love. They reflect the beliefs of your family and society about what’s acceptable or possible for you.

Unconscious commitments influence your perceptions about:

• Types of work that are valuable, worthy or ‘realistic' — which often ignores the changed world of abundant possibility (thanks to technology) we now live in.

• The kind of person you are — your abilities along with the skills or characteristics others consider valuable or not, which may hinder your authentic self-expression or cause you to overlook your truest gifts.

• Failure, and thinking it’s somehow bad to fail when failure is merely an experiment that didn’t lead to the desired result. Take what worked and iterate on the rest until you succeed, in a grounded, strategic and practical way.

• Your natural inclinations, thinking you were too quiet or too loud, too bossy or too sensitive. No matter who we are, it seems many of us chose families (as our souls do to learn certain lessons) that told us who we are is somehow not good enough. This is exactly why living your purpose is a personal growth curriculum that when avoided, results in a half-lived life, a self only partially experienced.

3. You’re numbed out or bored, spending too much time consuming content rather than pursuing meaningful goals.

Boredom is a HUGE issue today. I choose to live a boring life, but I’m never bored. I’m actively engaged in challenging, meaningful goals related to work and purpose, health, cooking, beauty and home.

The answer to boredom isn’t entertainment, but meaning.

Boredom indicates you’re detached from your primal creative impulse and NOT living your purpose.

Take risks. Start the business, put yourself out there, fall flat on your face.

Who cares?

Modern life is so comfortable, and that comfort has ruined people’s ability to take strategic risks.

I’m not saying quit your job to go all in on a business you’re not sure will work, if you need the income. That’s not smart.

But move into the direction that feels thrilling and scary all at once. That’s how you create a feeling of aliveness.

And once you move into that direction, you create a series of solid systems that you show up to execute day in and day out.

I help my clients approach this through a practical AND spiritual lens.

That’s how you find your purpose and create meaningful success.

4. You’re working an almost-career that looks good on paper, but is deeply unfulfilling.

I used to be a journalist and on paper, it should’ve been perfect.

Writing ✔️

Asking questions ✔️

Actively listening to people ✔️

Yet it didn’t fill me up. The awards I won meant nothing, and I told myself that getting better beats at bigger papers would make me happy, but it never did.

Something was missing.

Personality tests, self-help books, and vacations to connect with myself never revealed answers.

It wasn’t until I gave myself permission to let go of what I thought success should look like, uncover the deeper gifts underneath my skills, and follow my curiosity without needing to have it all figured out that I found my purpose and true fulfillment.

Once I focused on this deeper inner work, everything changed.

This week in the Journaling Club, you’ll identify your truest soul gifts and understand how to express them in meaningful ways.

5. You’re surrounded by normal people who make you doubt yourself.

As I mentioned earlier, normal people just won’t get it. Trying to convince them is useless.

The person you really need to convince is yourself.

Do the inner work to believe in your gifts, trust your inner guidance, create (and maintain) the appropriate systems and habits in your life so you can create success by following your heart.

It doesn’t matter what other people think. This is your life. You’re the one who has to die when it’s your time.

You’re the one whose stomach fills with dread every Sunday, thinking about the work week ahead.

You’re the one who loses all her time and life-force energy trying to make everyone happy, which never works anyway, while feeling disappointed that once again, your goals got buried under a mountain of useless to-do’s.

And you’re the one with the power to make your life meaningful. It’s all up to you. No one’s coming to save you. The longer you wait, the less likely you are to act.

Tomorrow won’t be any easier than today. In fact, the law of inertia means it will be more difficult.

Soulful success is about more than work, but living a life that accurately and exquisitely reflects who you really are, deep in your soul.

It’s about using your greatest gifts to serve humanity in the way God intended, while nurturing your health, relationships and spirituality.

My purpose and true gift is to help you vividly see yourself through the lens of your highest potential — to understand your powerful gifts and strengths, connect the dots and understand why you’ve struggled to realize your life vision, and uncover your soul’s guidance on how to overcome those roadblocks.

When you’re ready to find your purpose and create meaningful success, here’s how I can help:

🌹 Receive personalized support to become successful by following your heart in my 1:1 mentorship. (2 spaces are available.) Reply to this email or DM me on Substack with your email. Tell me a little about yourself, and I can share details if I think I can help you.

🌹 Join the Journaling Club to do this powerful work self-guided. This week’s 5 prompts will help you unearth existing opportunities you’re not seeing, identify your truest gifts underneath your practical skills and trust your desires.

🌹 Immerse yourself in deep healing to access your soul’s truest gifts in my comprehensive Shadow work video workshop.

I’m so grateful to support your journey, for those who feel called.

All the love,

Suzanne

PS — What parts of this blog did you see yourself in? Share your reflections in the comments!