I agree with a lot of what is written here. The way that therapy was originally developed was a way to help people FUNCTION in society. It had nothing to do with helping people find fulfillment or happiness. This is what I have seen and heard in terms of people’s experiences with the vast majority of therapists.
I think that the only thing that brings up some sadness for me as I read this beautiful post is it sounds like you feel like you have to go on this journey alone. I can totally understand why you would feel that way given your experience seeking out help and having antidepressants pushed on you. My experience has been that there are people out there that can provide help along this journey. It sounds like you may be one of those people for others. I hope that you too have or are able to find support in your journey. I don’t think anyone should have to do it alone.
That’s interesting about the evolution of therapy! I never thought about that. And thank you for the kind words. I have had to find my own way. But it’s okay. It’s my path, my fate. It would be nice to have support but the nature of my calling and lessons in this lifetime is learning things on my own. I appreciate the person it’s made me. ♥️🙏🏼
I couldn’t agree more with this post. I am with you 💯 on your points, conclusions, and diagnoses of the root of some of the problems. The very few therapists I’ve had who were good wanted to help me get well without medication. So the end goal was to actually be independent of outside agents. Lot of self-work. Lot of long days. But when you get to the other side, it was all worth it. Bravo Suzanne on all you’ve done to get through some really big challenges. So glad you’re here and sharing and helping others see a different way. 💪
Glad to hear you found good people to help you! You’ve been through a lot too. Definitely lots of self-work and long days! On Substack with so many great life-wisdom writers I always think about that quote: we’re all just walking each other home. That’s what it feels like. Glad you’re here sharing and helping as well! ♥️
Healing in the wake of so many traumatic events entails a ton of inner work. I’m glad you’re on the path of healing. Thank you for sharing your story, Suzanne.
Suzanne, I've had some unforgivable experiences with bad therapists, but fortunately, I've never been pushed into taking medication. You've made some valid points about the modern medical-based mental health system and how we would be smart to be wary. Thanks for sharing your own story to illustrate the point. I thoroughly appreciate the somatic-based trauma therapy I receive, and I do my own inner work, too. No drugs are involved!
That’s so cool you’ve done somatic-based therapy! I’ve heard a lot about it! Glad you’ve found it helpful. I’ve tried somatic body-based practices and find them incredibly helpful for moving emotional energy through the body. Thanks for reading and sharing your experience! I love to hear it! ♥️
As a social worker myself (no longer practising) and also having delivered group therapy in the past (also no longer practising) I do very strongly see the value of therapy and social work - because I've seen the changes happening in people. I've never pushed medication on anyone though, I'm not a doctor so that isn't my place.
But, as someone who has worked in that space, unfortunately I also know there's more than one bad apple out there. The relationship between the client and the therapist is the strongest predictor of whether or not the therapy will work, and as you mention there's quite a few "not so good" ones. The system does need a lot of work, and having worked in that space myself it can be so frustrating.
Side note, a lot of the work I did with people also focused on the things you mention like living mindfully and spiritually for example.
Are people in New Zealand as heavily medicated as they are in the US? I’m always curious about how other cultures handle things and if Big Pharma’s grip extends around the world. It’s awesome you helped people through mindfulness and spirituality. I’m glad the people you helped had access to you. ♥️
Yeah I've definitely noticed New Zealand seems to follow the US model quite a bit. They're very generous with their prescriptions and meds, as opposed to Belgium where I'm originally from. Anti depressant are easily prescribed and often without any other interventions or any real conversation at all.
Suzanne, I agree so much with this and relate to so many of your experiences. I have come to realise, too, how much our culture pathologises normal human reactions to grief and trauma, and also pathologises and labels a 'disorder' any way of thinking or being that deviates by some non-existent 'norm'.
I, too, was prescribed anti-depressants and told I had 'anxiety and depression' in my early 20s when actually I was struggling with the grief of my mother dying when I was 14, and the total lack of care or holding of my feelings when that happened. Being told I was sick and my brain chemistry was wrong made me think there was something deeply wrong with me and that my pain didn't make sense.
I'm so grateful that, thanks to removing alcohol from my life (which I was using to try and cope with my feelings), I have been on a journey to being able to accept my feelings and BE with my feelings rather than try to escape from them and label them as wrong. I have found mindful self-compassion and Focusing hugely helpful in allowing me to practice accepting all parts of myself - do you know either of these practices?
I'm really interested in your Feeling Awareness meditation.
Thanks for sharing all this - it takes courage to voice this.x
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I resonate so deeply with it. I too was 14 when my dad died. I’m sorry you experienced that, and the lack of care or holding your feelings afterward. It’s difficult to accept that the people who are supposed to be able to help us process grief aren’t able to do it. It’s fine for those of us who are able to find our way forward anyway, but it’s sad that some people lose their entire lives to a series of labels and pills that were never meant to help them, but only mask the pain. I will DM you the FA meditation link!
Very powerful piece. There is so much critical truth here that can be unpacked.
I see in the comments, how many people have had positive experiences with therapy and how they view the system incorporating a lot of the points you brought up in your personal healing work.
As Maimonides says: take the truth where it is, no matter where it comes from.
As long as we all understand the costs and benefits of medication vs holistic growth, as each has their own pros/cons.
For some people, not medicating can also be a travesty…
I think psychiatric medications are similar to those for diabetes. You can heal without them, and doing so allows true healing. Or you can take them, continue eating poorly although your markers improve because of whatever the medication is doing to your body, but the truth is you’re getting sicker and unhealthier all the time. I can appreciate not everyone thinks this way, but this is one area of life where I have very strong opinions.
Definitely hear what you’re saying. I guess it comes down to what we qualify as medicine and is there ever room for using them with the bodies, wisdom and innate healing abilities
> There's nothing wrong with any of us. The pain we feel has a purpose and a message. Underneath of it is deep peace. We can live any kind of life we want to, as long as we face our trials with courage.
Wow, beautifully said, Suzanne.
Thank you writing this important piece and sharing it with all of us 💛
Healing is an interesting term because there's nothing wrong with any of us. We're simply coming back to our true nature, peeling off layer after layer.
Thank you for putting this together. It hits for me. I have had a mixed bag experience with health care and mental health support. I have found wonderful social workers that integrate reiki, somatics and movement to help support. I also have found real value in alternative and holistic healers and coaches. I have also had mental healthcare providers that were cold and clinical. For me most of the push to get medicated came from my family doctor, husband and in-laws.
It felt like a betrayal. I was sharing my emotions, the challenges I was having as a new mom with them. I was being wildly vulnerable… to be met with the push of medication so my emotions could stop making them uncomfortable.
I have found lots of wonderful support and also found the power of doing the inner work for myself as well.
Motherhood unlocked the hurt I hide when I was a child. Having children stirred it up again for me to feel. For me to be there for myself. I kept following the breadcrumbs and I kept finding people to help me navigate this unfolding.
As I continue to navigate my big feelings and continue to trust my inner knowing that I do not need medication. I am grateful for your share. Grateful for the validation that I am not the only one who believes pills are not the answer, rather feeling safe enough to feel is the answer!
Motherhood would be hard in that way! I’m not sure I would have been able to handle it, although what a gift and ultimately greater healing. Yes, I’ve heard family doctors prescribe a large percentage of antidepressants and related meds. It’s honestly irresponsible because a lot of people end up just taking meds and not seeking therapy, which does nothing to help them heal. But they get paid off by Big Pharma to prescribe. Studies done on this, not just conspiracy:) I’m also sorry to hear your family couldn’t handle your emotions. Too common. I’ve experienced the same. I still feel big emotions - it’s just who I am and there’s nothing wrong with it. I don’t understand this social push to make everyone calm and happy. I’d rather feel everything deeply - happiness and sadness too. It’s awesome to hear you found great holistic healers to support your journey. I need to do a better job of seeking that out. I just have such trust issues that I tend to only seek my own counsel but it would feel so nice to be supported. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. Sending you so much love ♥️
I enjoyed your article. Sadly we live in a world where diagnoses and symptoms are the place from which the medical fraternity treat a patient. Nothing else.
It enables the "right" treatment. But does it?
In my work as a BodyTalk practitioner I have realised what an ineffectual way of treating patients the above model is.
What about the patient's life narrative? Or the hidden parts?
Those places offer hope and healing. They are the "story" behind the symptoms. Work with them and watch the magic slowly unfold.
I witness this in my work. Every day.
Years of physical pain dissipates. Niggly symptoms disappear. Broken hearts heal. Anxiety lifts. Illnesses shift.
We are SO much more than physical beings. Symptoms are our body's way of telling us something is WRONG.
An invitation to go within. To explore the "story" that brought us to this point. And it's different for everyone.
Thank you Suzanne, this was a very timely read after the recent loss of a loved one and I wouldn't have found it had you seen my post and just passed by without liking and commenting - thanks 😊
I am sad at the moment but I know this isn't a sickness... like you, Journaling and meditation play a big part in how I process my feelings. My diet has been terrible of late and I know this is also an important factor in how we feel both mentally and physically, in the short term and long term!
Looking forward to reading more of your newsletters 💖
I agree with a lot of what is written here. The way that therapy was originally developed was a way to help people FUNCTION in society. It had nothing to do with helping people find fulfillment or happiness. This is what I have seen and heard in terms of people’s experiences with the vast majority of therapists.
I think that the only thing that brings up some sadness for me as I read this beautiful post is it sounds like you feel like you have to go on this journey alone. I can totally understand why you would feel that way given your experience seeking out help and having antidepressants pushed on you. My experience has been that there are people out there that can provide help along this journey. It sounds like you may be one of those people for others. I hope that you too have or are able to find support in your journey. I don’t think anyone should have to do it alone.
That’s interesting about the evolution of therapy! I never thought about that. And thank you for the kind words. I have had to find my own way. But it’s okay. It’s my path, my fate. It would be nice to have support but the nature of my calling and lessons in this lifetime is learning things on my own. I appreciate the person it’s made me. ♥️🙏🏼
I couldn’t agree more with this post. I am with you 💯 on your points, conclusions, and diagnoses of the root of some of the problems. The very few therapists I’ve had who were good wanted to help me get well without medication. So the end goal was to actually be independent of outside agents. Lot of self-work. Lot of long days. But when you get to the other side, it was all worth it. Bravo Suzanne on all you’ve done to get through some really big challenges. So glad you’re here and sharing and helping others see a different way. 💪
Glad to hear you found good people to help you! You’ve been through a lot too. Definitely lots of self-work and long days! On Substack with so many great life-wisdom writers I always think about that quote: we’re all just walking each other home. That’s what it feels like. Glad you’re here sharing and helping as well! ♥️
Healing in the wake of so many traumatic events entails a ton of inner work. I’m glad you’re on the path of healing. Thank you for sharing your story, Suzanne.
Thank you, Amy. A lot of inner work indeed. 😊 I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment! ♥️🙏🏼
Suzanne, I've had some unforgivable experiences with bad therapists, but fortunately, I've never been pushed into taking medication. You've made some valid points about the modern medical-based mental health system and how we would be smart to be wary. Thanks for sharing your own story to illustrate the point. I thoroughly appreciate the somatic-based trauma therapy I receive, and I do my own inner work, too. No drugs are involved!
That’s so cool you’ve done somatic-based therapy! I’ve heard a lot about it! Glad you’ve found it helpful. I’ve tried somatic body-based practices and find them incredibly helpful for moving emotional energy through the body. Thanks for reading and sharing your experience! I love to hear it! ♥️
As a social worker myself (no longer practising) and also having delivered group therapy in the past (also no longer practising) I do very strongly see the value of therapy and social work - because I've seen the changes happening in people. I've never pushed medication on anyone though, I'm not a doctor so that isn't my place.
But, as someone who has worked in that space, unfortunately I also know there's more than one bad apple out there. The relationship between the client and the therapist is the strongest predictor of whether or not the therapy will work, and as you mention there's quite a few "not so good" ones. The system does need a lot of work, and having worked in that space myself it can be so frustrating.
Side note, a lot of the work I did with people also focused on the things you mention like living mindfully and spiritually for example.
Are people in New Zealand as heavily medicated as they are in the US? I’m always curious about how other cultures handle things and if Big Pharma’s grip extends around the world. It’s awesome you helped people through mindfulness and spirituality. I’m glad the people you helped had access to you. ♥️
Yeah I've definitely noticed New Zealand seems to follow the US model quite a bit. They're very generous with their prescriptions and meds, as opposed to Belgium where I'm originally from. Anti depressant are easily prescribed and often without any other interventions or any real conversation at all.
Suzanne, I agree so much with this and relate to so many of your experiences. I have come to realise, too, how much our culture pathologises normal human reactions to grief and trauma, and also pathologises and labels a 'disorder' any way of thinking or being that deviates by some non-existent 'norm'.
I, too, was prescribed anti-depressants and told I had 'anxiety and depression' in my early 20s when actually I was struggling with the grief of my mother dying when I was 14, and the total lack of care or holding of my feelings when that happened. Being told I was sick and my brain chemistry was wrong made me think there was something deeply wrong with me and that my pain didn't make sense.
I'm so grateful that, thanks to removing alcohol from my life (which I was using to try and cope with my feelings), I have been on a journey to being able to accept my feelings and BE with my feelings rather than try to escape from them and label them as wrong. I have found mindful self-compassion and Focusing hugely helpful in allowing me to practice accepting all parts of myself - do you know either of these practices?
I'm really interested in your Feeling Awareness meditation.
Thanks for sharing all this - it takes courage to voice this.x
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I resonate so deeply with it. I too was 14 when my dad died. I’m sorry you experienced that, and the lack of care or holding your feelings afterward. It’s difficult to accept that the people who are supposed to be able to help us process grief aren’t able to do it. It’s fine for those of us who are able to find our way forward anyway, but it’s sad that some people lose their entire lives to a series of labels and pills that were never meant to help them, but only mask the pain. I will DM you the FA meditation link!
Very powerful piece. There is so much critical truth here that can be unpacked.
I see in the comments, how many people have had positive experiences with therapy and how they view the system incorporating a lot of the points you brought up in your personal healing work.
As Maimonides says: take the truth where it is, no matter where it comes from.
As long as we all understand the costs and benefits of medication vs holistic growth, as each has their own pros/cons.
For some people, not medicating can also be a travesty…
Thanks for this!
I think psychiatric medications are similar to those for diabetes. You can heal without them, and doing so allows true healing. Or you can take them, continue eating poorly although your markers improve because of whatever the medication is doing to your body, but the truth is you’re getting sicker and unhealthier all the time. I can appreciate not everyone thinks this way, but this is one area of life where I have very strong opinions.
Definitely hear what you’re saying. I guess it comes down to what we qualify as medicine and is there ever room for using them with the bodies, wisdom and innate healing abilities
> There's nothing wrong with any of us. The pain we feel has a purpose and a message. Underneath of it is deep peace. We can live any kind of life we want to, as long as we face our trials with courage.
Wow, beautifully said, Suzanne.
Thank you writing this important piece and sharing it with all of us 💛
Healing is an interesting term because there's nothing wrong with any of us. We're simply coming back to our true nature, peeling off layer after layer.
Yes, love that! Layer after layer ♥️ thanks so much for reading. Glad it resonated 🙏🏼
Thank you for putting this together. It hits for me. I have had a mixed bag experience with health care and mental health support. I have found wonderful social workers that integrate reiki, somatics and movement to help support. I also have found real value in alternative and holistic healers and coaches. I have also had mental healthcare providers that were cold and clinical. For me most of the push to get medicated came from my family doctor, husband and in-laws.
It felt like a betrayal. I was sharing my emotions, the challenges I was having as a new mom with them. I was being wildly vulnerable… to be met with the push of medication so my emotions could stop making them uncomfortable.
I have found lots of wonderful support and also found the power of doing the inner work for myself as well.
Motherhood unlocked the hurt I hide when I was a child. Having children stirred it up again for me to feel. For me to be there for myself. I kept following the breadcrumbs and I kept finding people to help me navigate this unfolding.
As I continue to navigate my big feelings and continue to trust my inner knowing that I do not need medication. I am grateful for your share. Grateful for the validation that I am not the only one who believes pills are not the answer, rather feeling safe enough to feel is the answer!
Keep up the amazing work lady 💕🙏🏻
Motherhood would be hard in that way! I’m not sure I would have been able to handle it, although what a gift and ultimately greater healing. Yes, I’ve heard family doctors prescribe a large percentage of antidepressants and related meds. It’s honestly irresponsible because a lot of people end up just taking meds and not seeking therapy, which does nothing to help them heal. But they get paid off by Big Pharma to prescribe. Studies done on this, not just conspiracy:) I’m also sorry to hear your family couldn’t handle your emotions. Too common. I’ve experienced the same. I still feel big emotions - it’s just who I am and there’s nothing wrong with it. I don’t understand this social push to make everyone calm and happy. I’d rather feel everything deeply - happiness and sadness too. It’s awesome to hear you found great holistic healers to support your journey. I need to do a better job of seeking that out. I just have such trust issues that I tend to only seek my own counsel but it would feel so nice to be supported. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. Sending you so much love ♥️
Thank you for this thoughtful reply. So much respect that you have found so much healing from within. 💕🙏🏻
You have that inner knowing, in my opinion the best support anyone can have!
Also so grateful you are sharing and offering support for others looking to do it differently 💕
❤️
Thanks for reading! ♥️
Great piece 🌿
Thank you Richa! I’m glad you enjoyed it ♥️🙏🏼
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Wellbeing with Elana
6 mins ago
I enjoyed your article. Sadly we live in a world where diagnoses and symptoms are the place from which the medical fraternity treat a patient. Nothing else.
It enables the "right" treatment. But does it?
In my work as a BodyTalk practitioner I have realised what an ineffectual way of treating patients the above model is.
What about the patient's life narrative? Or the hidden parts?
Those places offer hope and healing. They are the "story" behind the symptoms. Work with them and watch the magic slowly unfold.
I witness this in my work. Every day.
Years of physical pain dissipates. Niggly symptoms disappear. Broken hearts heal. Anxiety lifts. Illnesses shift.
We are SO much more than physical beings. Symptoms are our body's way of telling us something is WRONG.
An invitation to go within. To explore the "story" that brought us to this point. And it's different for everyone.
That is when real healing can occur.
No pill can do this!!
For more information on BodyTalk, head to
https://bodytalkbalance.co.za/
Thank you Suzanne, this was a very timely read after the recent loss of a loved one and I wouldn't have found it had you seen my post and just passed by without liking and commenting - thanks 😊
I am sad at the moment but I know this isn't a sickness... like you, Journaling and meditation play a big part in how I process my feelings. My diet has been terrible of late and I know this is also an important factor in how we feel both mentally and physically, in the short term and long term!
Looking forward to reading more of your newsletters 💖